It's Friday...ugh...

The past few days have been hard. The truth is I miss my sister, I will always miss her. I never knew you could miss someone so much. This whole grief comes in waves thing, it's nothing but the truth. I try to find a balance to function through the grief. Most days I think that I have a pretty good handle on things. The past few I am really not sure if I have or not. Just after Laura died and we were back in Michigan, friends from our church took such awesome care of us and honestly still are. One of them brought me dinner one night and told me "Charyl, no matter what get out of bed and get dressed." Some days that's pretty much all that happens.

I have tried to keep it all together and I have a feeling that I am not doing all that great of a job. I can't remember the last time I made dinner, I've rewashed the same load of laundry three times now because, I forgot to switch it. My schoolwork is slipping and I feel like I am a lousy friend. I am not sure that I am being that great of a wife and mother either. The fact the lights are still on is a freaking miracle. 

This has been a soul searching journey. Full of sadness, wondering, remembering and even a little bit of guilt, not only for me but for Scott too. I feel bad for him, he has to be so strong for me, I often wonder who will be strong for him. Being here in Michigan we are pretty far from his family and some of his friends, there's really not too many people here for him. I pray we both come out of this alright. Some days, days like the last two I wonder.