Yesterday

As I lie here at 3am my mind is racing. It's filled with memories, questions, and regret. I am thinking about Laura and this nightmare my family is living. A good portion of you reading my post have now heard, read or were told what happened to my sister.  What happened to her was unfair and not warranted. It was senseless and she definitely didn't deserve the ending she was given.

Yesterday, the person responsible for that ending took responsibility and admitted that he took my sister's life.

As I have looked at the facebook and Instagram posts from yesterday, there is a common theme among them.  People feel that an injustice was done to her that the punishment that he was given doesn't fit the crime that he committed. While yes, I do believe that is essentially the case, I feel that there is another side to this story. One that really can only be understood by our family.

We found out most of the information the same time as everyone else did. Yesterday while sitting in court with about 50 or so people, we learned the details of my sister's death. We had no time to process the information in advance. We were not told details in order to protect the integrity of the case.

I know for myself, I had placed all my trust in an investigation team comprised of some of Ontario's finest. I trusted that they did the best they could to gather all the evidence and information they possibly could to bring justice to my sister. That is exactly what they did. I will forever be grateful for their professionalism and they way they took care of my sister's case.

Sitting in the courtroom hearing what had happened took my breath away. I knew there were things that I was going to learn that were going to be hard. I had done the best to prepare myself for that. I was finally getting information that can start to bring closure to this situation.

The decisions made with regards to that plea were made so we could start to get the closure that we deserved. To avoid what would have been a lengthy and emotionally draining trial. Many of you haven't seen the toll this has taken on our family and Laura's close friends. The battles we all face behind closed doors.

People tell me that I am so strong, that I am dealing with this amazingly well. That's because it's what I tend to portray to the rest of the world. When in reality there is really only one person who knows how much of a game face I put on to the rest of the world, that would be Scott. Even then there are times when I hide my feelings from him. He has truly seen my at my worst. He has held me together when all I've wanted to do is crumble. He has made me get out there and live my life the past year, when I would have rather stayed in bed and tuned out the world. He is my rock and I am grateful that he puts up with my crazy.

That being said, I yet again have to say thank you. Thank you for messages, the calls, thoughts and prayers. I am not sure where I would be without your support!